Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Murdered by Elephant

The book club met Sunday to wrap up our discussions on Water for Elephants. Dizzy, Kiva, Mo, Natasha, Aurora and myself were in attendance to discuss the final chapters.

AlohaSD: So WFE, I thought that was an uplifting ending, however implausible.
Kiva: Very sweet ending
Krystle: I thought it was sweet since you thought the book was going to end sadly and it didn't :)
AlohaSD: How nice was the circus owner!
Krystle: "Wouldn't he be better off at home," says the officer. "This is home."
AlohaSD: Okay, loved that Rosie was the one who offed August.
Krystle: YES!!!! Nice surprise twist. Didn't see that coming. Delightful
Kiva: Nothing like a murderous elephant. LOVED it
Krystle: Looking back, the author foreshadowed that with Rosie being a lemonade thief. (removing her stake)

Our Chatzy chat room decided to majorly fail on us during the middle of such an important discussion. We reconvened using a different chat service…

Kiva: Where were we? Murder by Elephant
Krystle: I really thought Marlena murdered August at the beginning. Author was sneaky!
Alohasd9607: Poor August, getting trampled to death. NOT.
Dizzy: I loved it. Speaking of running away - he did it in the beginning and the end.
Krystle: Good point Dizzy!!!!! He came full circle.

Kiva: Man, I loved him crawling across the train roofs. So Ninja.
Dizzy: Superman! I really want to see the train roof scene.
Krystle: He's drunk and had a head injury! WTF Jacob?
Kiva: I kept thinking Rob will need a stunt man.
dizzy: LOL wires and harness...
Alohasd9607: Definitely a stunt man. I don't trust Rob. :(

The book club absolutely enjoyed reading Water for Elephants and cannot wait to see the movie adaptation. I know...we're going to have to be quite patient since filming hasn't even begun. ;) Thanks to everyone who joined in on our Sunday chats to discuss the book. I had an awesome time. I'll be putting up a poll shortly to vote on which book to read next. Stay tuned!

Friday, April 23, 2010

I'm like a ringleader...

Last Sunday the book club got down to brass tax and tackled some major areas of Water for Elephants. AlohaSD, Natasha, Carolamex2, H2B, Kiva and myself converged to take on chapters 9-18.

Jacob's virginal character has the opportunity for a three-some with Barbara and another skank but he's too drunk to carry anything out...

Krystle: We need to discuss the Barbara, Jacob, Nell sexcapade!!!!!! Thoughts??
AlohaSD: I'm embarrassed for Jacob
Krystle: I was absolutely floored in that chapter!
Natasha: I thought he had an orgasm and instead he puked. OMG that I didn't expect that.
Krystle: me too! He threw up on her! *dying all over again*
Kiva: Yeah, the barf is a mood killer but I think that will be hilarious with Rob.
Natasha: But the question is....is Jacob's pubic hair red/orange?
Krystle: hahaha - we'll never know since Kinko shaved it off!
AlohaSD: And he did that because?
Natasha: Kinko is weird! How in earth did he shave the pubic hair? Did he hold Jacob's peen and balls to shave!?
Krystle: but - my question is....Is Jacob still a virgin?? I'm thinking he is....
H2B: Question... Would you have sex with a guy who just threw up? I wouldn't!
Krystle: How funny/embarrassing was it when August and Marlena thought Jacob needed the doctor for man problems? Did they think Jacob was having erection problems or had an STD??
H2B: Probably thought he knocked up Barbara
Krystle: Good thing he didn't have sex with Barbara. He'd probably be in worse shape than Camel from a chronic STD
AlohaSD: Poor Jacob, get all the flack without the pleasure of sex!

The director of Water for Elephants Francis Lawrence has directed several music videos including....wait for it....Britney Spears' Circus video! ROLL IT....

Hopefully we'll get to see Rob crack some whip in the film ;)

The book club wraps up Water for Elephants this Sunday at noon EST. Be there to enjoy some great people, awesome conversation!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Sunday's Chat...

Let's meet this Sunday at 1pm EST. We'll discuss chapters 9-17 of Water for Elephants :) See ya soon!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Step right up....

The book club got together Sunday to discuss chapters 5-8 of Water for Elephants with the following call signs in attendance: AlohaSD, Amoca, Dizzy, Carolamex, Kiva, jordan_omc, Dear_Rob, Sparks, Natasha and Krystle.

You couldn’t make it? Well, it was full of magical moments including talk of: Poor Silver Star… little people like porn too…and young Jacob is definitely knocking someone up soon….we did the math. Here’s the cliff notes version…


Jacob finds out the show’s liberty horse Silver Star’s in poor health and she begins to deteriorate fast. Marlena is devastated. Jacob ends up having to shoot the horse to end the poor animal’s suffering. The circus is short on meat so August so thoughtfully feeds Silver Star to the cats.

“Damn , August.” I say. “I almost forgot. The cats haven’t eaten. We had to dump their meat.”
“It’s all right, my boy,” he says. “It’s all been taken care of.”
I stop in my tracks
“August? What do you mean it’s all been taken care of?”

That August is sure a softy!

Well Blow Me Down…
Jacob and his roommate Kinko are still off to rough beginnings and Jacob walking in on him during some personal time is the most awkward bit in the book so far.

Krystle: Every time I read something scandalous, I think, will this be in the movie?
Sparks_: Who else laughed when Kinko was caught....er...with it in his hand? Lmao
Krystle: omg. I died...absolutely died Sparks
Dear_Rob: totally laughed and was a bit horrified
Kiva: OME Sparks, it continues to surprise me.
dizzy: yeah that was funny poor guy
Krystle: Midget masturbation....
Kiva: was this to the Olive Oil cartoon?
Dear_Rob: was it Popeye and Olive Oyl porn
Kiva: Anyone have someone in mind for that role?
Krystle: I don't know that many midgets....
Amoca: that will not be in the movie

The book keeps flashing back and forth between circus time and gramps time and something grabs our attention…

Krystle: so did anyone pick up on how old his oldest child was???? 70. So that means Jacob is going to father a child VERY soon in the book.
Amoca: I pondered the time frame and wondered how he would have a 70-year-old, you know counting on my fingers
AlohaSD: Holy shit! Jacob has a son soon? You guys are Nancy Drews!

We make a submission to Urban Dictionary…
he has 5 damn kids. Lots of action.
Kiva: Rob is a blut
Kiva: slut
Carolamex: ahhhh I was wondering what is a blut?
Kiva: Ambien hasn't worn off
dizzy: a boy slut?
AlohaSD: I think you've just coined a new term! Boy slut = blut!
dizzy: Kiva's translation...where's urban dic??

And we reminisce over Barbara and her boobs …
Carolamex: who is Barbara????
Krystle: Carola! Booby Barbara!
dizzy: the talented breast lady
Sparks_: The freak of nature boobs!!!
Dear_Rob: ugh don't want to see Barbara’s boobs in the movie, that was a very weird description
Kiva: I want to see Rob see the boobs

Good times were had. And next Sunday, April 18th at noon EST, we do it all over again. We'll be discussing chapters 9-17. Yes, we kicked it up a notch...Emeril style. See you Sunday!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Book Club to Meet Sunday 4/11

The book club will meet this Sunday, April 11th at noon EST to discuss chapters 5-8 of Water for Elephants. If you can't make it to every meeting, don't sweat it. We'd love to have you join in whenever you can. And if you've just heard about the book club and want to join us, please do. :) See ya Sunday!

Who remembers The Elephant Show? Awesome, huh?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Let the Circus Begin!

The book club met Saturday, April 3rd and had a stimulating discussion on Chapters 1-4 of Water for Elephants. Call signs in attendance: Aloha, H2B, Natasha, Sparks, Kiva, Amoca, Bookobsessed, Jordan and myself (Krystle). The two hour pow wow hit all the important marks in the opening chapters: animal urination, train hopping and booby tricks.

Old Jacob Jankowski = hilariously adorable
So the book starts off with Jacob in an old folks home and he's 90 or 93 - he's unsure. He's quite the grumpy old man but who would be excited about being around a bunch of strangers on their way to kick it? Everyone's pumped up about the circus coming to town and one of his housemates claims he used to work for a circus and carry water for the elephants…

Krystle: yes! That man is a liar! Do you know how much water elephants drink!?!?! lol
kiva: I think Jacob just wanted to bitch slap him
Amoca: do you know how much they piss too?
Bookobsessed: I thought elephants get most of their water through their food.
Amoca: hubs got pissed on at the Detroit Zoo
Sparks_: Bringing the water for elephants is like a running joke
kiva: I have been pissed on by a horse.
AlohaSD: Oh my. Animal piss.
Krystle: Ew. I've never been pissed on.
Amoca: Horses, dogs, rabbits, cats I have had it all
H2B: WTF! I reply to an e-mail & now we're talking piss? WTF!
H2B: NO GOLDEN SHOWER TALKING!!! *puts fingers in ears/ then covers eyes*

College Boy
The book flashes back to Jacob studying to be a veterinarian at Cornell. At 23, he swears he's the "oldest male virgin on the face of the earth." Ah...pure Jacob. I'm hoping...err... guessing we're going to see the demise of that later in the book. He mentions a group of guys paid a woman a quarter apiece to have sex with her one after the other. But Jacob couldn't do it.

Then, in an instant, Jacob's goes from worrying about his virginity and final exams to learning his parents have both died in a car crash and their estate is worthless. Jacob is told his father, a veterinarian, was taking beans and eggs in exchange for his services versus actual money. Jacob is flabbergasted. He’s told the bank owns everything since they were behind on their mortgage – a mortgage taken out it seems to pay for Jacob’s Ivy League tuition.

Jacob returns to school and pretty much loses it during an exam. He walks out in the middle of it, having not written a thing on his test paper. He walks and walks and walks….and then walks some more. He’s in the middle of nowhere near train tracks and some howling coyotes. A train begins to approach. And what does Jacob do? Hops on it while it’s moving of course. Duh. Who wouldn’t?

Cue circus music….

(Note: when I searched circus music on youtube, some scary ass clown things popped up. You’ve been warned.)

So, Jacob’s little hoist to the train has now landed him on a touring circus. His first day working in the circus leaves me even exhausted. He meets so many people, I’m having hard keeping track…Camel, Blackie, Uncle Al, Sneezey, Happy, Dopey….? He starts off by shoveling horse shit, then herds crowds of people, and then caps off the night by doing some crowd control during Barbara’s booby bonanza....she also does about a half a dozen guys after her show. What a gal!

Bookobsessed: Can you imagine just how nasty Barbara's cooch is?
Amoca: Oh yuck
kiva: Seriously. She can lick her own nipples. Nice trick.
H2B: She didn't have to bend her head to lick. She brought it up to her mouth!
Sparks_: "The size of silver dollar pancakes" LOL
Sparks_: And they kept going SLAP SLAP SLAP. LOL
H2B: Yeah bad pornos uses women with boobies like Barbs
Krystle: I don't want my boobs slapping or my booty clapping
Krystle: and that's the first naked woman Jacob ever saw? my god.
Sparks_: A shock for him, going out in the big wide world for sure
Krystle: Oh my favorite line so far in the book... "At the end of it, I'm a dollar richer and stiff all over."

We end chapter 4 with Jacob rooming with a midget named Kinko. Conclusion: So far this book is funny, skanky, and a bit of downer. But I’m definitely in the mood for an elephant ear now....