The book club met Saturday, April 3rd and had a stimulating discussion on Chapters 1-4 of Water for Elephants. Call signs in attendance: Aloha, H2B, Natasha, Sparks, Kiva, Amoca, Bookobsessed, Jordan and myself (Krystle). The two hour pow wow hit all the important marks in the opening chapters: animal urination, train hopping and booby tricks.
Old Jacob Jankowski = hilariously adorable
So the book starts off with Jacob in an old folks home and he's 90 or 93 - he's unsure. He's quite the grumpy old man but who would be excited about being around a bunch of strangers on their way to kick it? Everyone's pumped up about the circus coming to town and one of his housemates claims he used to work for a circus and carry water for the elephants…
Krystle: yes! That man is a liar! Do you know how much water elephants drink!?!?! lol
kiva: I think Jacob just wanted to bitch slap him
Amoca: do you know how much they piss too?
Bookobsessed: I thought elephants get most of their water through their food.
Amoca: hubs got pissed on at the Detroit Zoo
Sparks_: Bringing the water for elephants is like a running joke
kiva: I have been pissed on by a horse.
AlohaSD: Oh my. Animal piss.
Krystle: Ew. I've never been pissed on.
Amoca: Horses, dogs, rabbits, cats I have had it all
H2B: WTF! I reply to an e-mail & now we're talking piss? WTF!
H2B: NO GOLDEN SHOWER TALKING!!! *puts fingers in ears/ then covers eyes*
The book flashes back to Jacob studying to be a veterinarian at Cornell. At 23, he swears he's the "oldest male virgin on the face of the earth." Ah...pure Jacob. I'm hoping...err... guessing we're going to see the demise of that later in the book. He mentions a group of guys paid a woman a quarter apiece to have sex with her one after the other. But Jacob couldn't do it.
Then, in an instant, Jacob's goes from worrying about his virginity and final exams to learning his parents have both died in a car crash and their estate is worthless. Jacob is told his father, a veterinarian, was taking beans and eggs in exchange for his services versus actual money. Jacob is flabbergasted. He’s told the bank owns everything since they were behind on their mortgage – a mortgage taken out it seems to pay for Jacob’s Ivy League tuition.
Jacob returns to school and pretty much loses it during an exam. He walks out in the middle of it, having not written a thing on his test paper. He walks and walks and walks….and then walks some more. He’s in the middle of nowhere near train tracks and some howling coyotes. A train begins to approach. And what does Jacob do? Hops on it while it’s moving of course. Duh. Who wouldn’t?
Cue circus music….
(Note: when I searched circus music on youtube, some scary ass clown things popped up. You’ve been warned.)
So, Jacob’s little hoist to the train has now landed him on a touring circus. His first day working in the circus leaves me even exhausted. He meets so many people, I’m having hard keeping track…Camel, Blackie, Uncle Al, Sneezey, Happy, Dopey….? He starts off by shoveling horse shit, then herds crowds of people, and then caps off the night by doing some crowd control during Barbara’s booby bonanza....she also does about a half a dozen guys after her show. What a gal!
Bookobsessed: Can you imagine just how nasty Barbara's cooch is?
Amoca: Oh yuck
kiva: Seriously. She can lick her own nipples. Nice trick.
H2B: She didn't have to bend her head to lick. She brought it up to her mouth!
Sparks_: "The size of silver dollar pancakes" LOL
Sparks_: And they kept going SLAP SLAP SLAP. LOL
H2B: Yeah bad pornos uses women with boobies like Barbs
Krystle: I don't want my boobs slapping or my booty clapping
Krystle: and that's the first naked woman Jacob ever saw? my god.
Sparks_: A shock for him, going out in the big wide world for sure
Krystle: Oh my favorite line so far in the book... "At the end of it, I'm a dollar richer and stiff all over."
We end chapter 4 with Jacob rooming with a midget named Kinko. Conclusion: So far this book is funny, skanky, and a bit of downer. But I’m definitely in the mood for an elephant ear now....